The end is the beginning...

Wow, I have a fan club. Well kinda. I mean a kid from NJ is hardly a fan club but I have to take what I can get at this point. All I ask in return for telling you my inner-most thoughts and sharing with you what a fuck up I am is that you forward this link to all of your friends. Seriously. I am issuing a challenge to all 5 people who read this. Prove to me that you have a lot of friends, and the only way that I will believe you is to increase my readership. Please, do this for me. I am not even selling out and putting up ads to drive traffic…

Please. I do not have a lot going for me right now and this is all I have. You read about my life, you know this is true. I am reaching out to you. Help me.

So, on news from my last internet date:

Jdate boy and I were supposed to meet up to go rollerblading. I sent him those unflattering pics on Tues night to in not so many words say, “Please, I am too tired to meet you/think that all men who I am attracted to are fags so I want to cut the disapointment/do not want to waste my time with some asshole online, but since I told you I would meet you, I am doing it so you can see that I am the cute busty red head that I was hyping myself up to be.” Which, by the way, is true when I get dressed up and am wearing cleavage exposing clothes…men love me-- I am a little-girl virgin/dick sucking whore rolled into one.

On Tuesday night, after he received the pics, he called me “hottie” over IM and said that he still wanted to meet me and he would call me the next day (Wed.). I am thinking to myself at this point, fuck fuck fuck.

Wed I get dressed up for work because all of my clothes are at the Chinese launderers and all I have left are knee length skirts and a pretty black sweater. Being a Jeans and T-shirt kinda gal, all of my co-workers are asking me if I “have a hot date.” I blush and tell them that I do but that it is actually to go rollerblading that evening and that I “just felt like dressing up.”

The day gets hectic and its 4pm and I notice that he hasn’t called. I know that he was at a meeting during the day but find this slightly odd that he didn’t call to tell me that he was running late. 4pm rolls into 5pm and still no call. My friend Diana invites me to a Rosh Hashanah dinner and I accept the invite b/c no boy should expect that I wait on him. I leave to go to the party and still no call. I go to the party and still no call. I come home from the party, still no call. I sign onto messenger and check my email—NOTHING.

I accomplished my goal! He didn’t call me and has blocked me. He thinks I am fat, ugly, and hideous. When in reality, I look a lot more like the first pic I sent him than the pic of me stealing a golf cart, drunk with whip cream, and studying for my GREs. I know I should be offended, but I am not. I am just too tired to give a fuck. But what gets me, why couldnt he just tell me that the unflattering pics scared him away. I do not get it.

And tomorrow I am off to a wedding in Boston for the weekend. Evidently the groom has picked out boys for each of us, and each of those boys has his own hotel room. I am getting a brazillian and buying a box of condoms tomorrow. I am going to finally get to fuck an American this year!!!

So all in all, I could give a fuck because I am going to get fucked. This weekend.