Sunday, February 06, 2005

Becomming a friend of Bill W.

My old college roomie visited me while she was on her business trip here in NYC, and as we were walking across the Brooklyn Bridge she turned to me and said that most people don't know me...and right then and there I understood why she has remained in my life, despite the fact that we only talk about once a month/see each other once a year. She gets me. And after spending 6 months living in a city where the only person who understands me here is my sister, it was refreshing.

So, taking an inventory of my life and wanting to develop some meaning I have come up with the following resolutions:

1. STOP DRINKING. Comepletely. First of all, you want to know why I dropped a shit load of weight in Dec?! BECAUSE I WAS ON ANTI-BIOTICS AND COULDNT DRINK. I spend a shit load of money making myself look good...why am I fucking it up with alcohol? So, in an effort to make non-drinking friends, I *seriously* am considering going to AA. Why may you ask? Because my friend and I went from the club on E53rd St. to my apt in Greenwich Village to pre-game. We travelled over 50 blocks to go to my place to slam down drinks. I dont know any people who do not drink...and drinking until I am bombed, several times a week, and I am not in college, may indicate a small problem.

2. Find God. Kind of keeping with the whole AA theme, trying to give my life to a higher power...I find that I am happier when I have a form of spiritulaity in my life.

3. Volunteer. Reading my past entries of my blog, who the fuck do I think I am? SoHo House Tsunmami benefit? Fashion Week? Sun Valley?'s all good and fun but I am letting the cool opportunities define who I am. I pretned to be this down to earth person I used to be passionate about social justice, consumerism, etc. I want to get back to that

4. *The most important* Swearing off men. I will not hook-up with a man until 2 real dates (which means it could be a loooonnngggg spell, luckily I have the wabbitt). As in we both are sitting down, eating dinner, discussing our views on Bush's proposal to remedy social security. I am sick and tired of getting meaningless ass. It is boring, old, and honestly...usually very very dissapointing.

5. Quit smoking. Went to get a facial at Bliss and the esthitician knew that I was a smoker. Did you know that smoking cloggs your pores and actually causes breakouts?!?! My skin is looking amazing and I want to keep the results as long aspossible...

I know in all of my previous posts I have been saying that I just want ass, a hot man to fuck...Blame the Catholic and Jewish guilt over sex and sexuality that I was given in large doses growing up but I just dont feel morally right. And talking to Ang over the weekend made me realize that there are people who get me...

I guess asking for a guy who understands the subtle contradictions of my personality, who is intelligent enough to challenge me, funny enough to keep me entertained, finds me just as sexy wearing a pair of sweats as I am dressed up, good looking, tall, well educated, and rich...I guess I will be celebrating this Valentine's and ALL SUBSEQUENT Valentine's day with the wabbit and other toys that I will procure in my impending sexual frustration. But I am keeping my resolutions...


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