Discombobulated Thoughts

This past weekend has been so fucking eye-opening. For the second weekend in a row I have been too tired to do anything but sit and watch movies. I have been too emotionally, physically, and intellectually exhausted to even write in my fucking blog.


I also got a burst of inspitation from watching Garden State...I have not felt like that after a movie in years...completely enamoroured with the protagaonist the sexy vulnerability combined with stirrings of self-awareness and the observances of suburbia, were so on point that...anyway. You get the idea. Plus he is super cute and if I become rich and famous, then maybe we can hang out at the same Hollywood parties...and I think he is a nice Jewish boy.

Going through my own emotional journey because of someone else's creativity made me realize I forgot what kind of power words and images can elicit from the audience. I want that power. I want to take people through an emotional journey, a journey b/c the trip isnt that far from where they are comming from.

I hate movies like that. Movies that get your hopes up for finding a love that is just so fitting and special...but then you date in NYC. And you come to realize that it just doesnt fucking exist. There is a contrived way of dating, you present yourself...and after a few months, you may be able to tell each other something heartfelt. Or you just continue to receive compensation in the form of food for all of the money you spend making yourself attractive. I think I was just attracted to the vulnerability...and I know myself that if a guy opened up to me that quickly...I would run the other way. As would most women...there is somethign about wanting to be protected...and I am supposed to be the neurotic one.

That is why I love movies, it is a forum that allows you a safe place to daydream and live the life if everything was perfect...always having a happy ending, then hitting the stop button, so not to destroy

Enough about me sounding like a self-aware Bridgett Jones.

But there is something I have been missing, connecting with my writing...writing as a way for me to force myself to be more observant with the world as opposed to putting on my I-pod and distracting myself into believing I am someplace else.