Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Quasimodo Speaks

My boss' latetest word of wisdom from last week:
"Shannon, it is going to be very difficult for you to ever find someone to get married to"

Keep this in mind as I explain why I have been the reformed whore of Babylon/checking my email 40+ times today...

So, last Sunday night in a bout of insomnia (possibly alcohol withdrawl), I was perusing the CL M4W ads, trying to get a good laugh before the craziness of the professional week started. I came across this ad that sounded like me to the T. For those of who know me, you know that I am a very very very very unique individual (aka eccentric possibly psychotic). So I write a classically witty email that is just cute, brilliant, warm...a lot like me. We begin to exchange emails, and this guy is getting better sounding by the minute! Ivy league, social science person, market research, living in the same neighborhood (I think even within like a 3 block radius), sends me a picture and is not scarily overweight/ugly, sisters who both went to a 7 sister, he loves New England...I mean I could go on. I am excited! Especially thinking of the men I have been runnign into lately.

I was supposed to send him a pic of me on Thurs, thinking that my friend was going to send this hot pic of me all dressed up for a night on the town, etc. Well, I dont get my pic. And he sends me one, and it is Sat already, so I send him one of me where I look like myself. No make-up, huge smile, from NYE so slightly intoxicated...overall not a bad pic of me but not making me look like a supermodel either...have I heard back from him? No. Even after I gave him my IM screename (which he asked for), which alludes to a "say a quick hi, not like the pressure of an email."

So not only do I have a crappy personality (thank you for reminding me boss) but I am also busted like Quasimodo and the only time men hit on me is when I am dressed to the nines with so much make-up/have so much hairspray that I look more like Joan Jett than I look like myself. YEA...

And I don't know what has gotten into me...I think it was the petting zoo at central park. Because I used to be anti-bfriend...I think it has just been a realization. It isn't that the hook ups are bad...no b/c the last few ones I have had in the last few months have rocked. It's the lack of emotional connection...OH my God, I sound like my roomate now.

I hate all men. I am going to be alone. With 57 cats, just like Heintz ketchup varieties. And I am beginning to eerily sound a lot like Bridget Jones. Fuck, I have also lost my originality. Fuck internet dating, why havent I learned?


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