Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Patriotism, Getting out and other things

So this past fourth of July, with the boys in Iraq, it got me reflecting about our country, the values that we stand for. It left me with this burning desire to do something for the boys stationed overseas. I thought to myself, perhaps I should start a letter writing campagin. No, I can't commit to anything like that. Then I thought maybe I should give money to a Veterans cause. No, because I like spending money on myself.

I met this navy SEAL. Reminded me of Ray Romano, kinda cute. We met at a party on Fri night. He was hitting on me (not in the will you be my gfriend kind of way but in the let's fuck kind of way). Usually if a guy is hitting on me hardcore in an obviously "I want to fuck you" kind of way, and I am sober, I think to myself that he has to be a fucking jerk. So Fri night he hits on me and I do not reciprocate. Saturday my friend gerla and I are talking and we start to talk about sex. Long story short...we both agree that I need some hott mind blowing sex. So Sat I see Navy SEAL, picks up my friends and I in his brand new Denali...and the 20 drinks that I have earlier start to hit. After falling over into a pile of wood (stillettos at a field party will do that), wood chips all over my short skirt and probabley even dirt in my hair, I walk over to him...slurring my words and tell him that I want to perform a service for my country.

He pulls me away to his new Denali and we engage in a hot and heavy make out scene...

I am all ready to partake in my new found non-catholic/jewish guilt about sex, ready to have hott mind blowing sex in the back seat of an American truck with an American Navy SEAL and we have no condom.

Let me explain to you the frustration that a girl will experience when you have your heart set on wild windblowing sex. And there is nothing you could do about it, especially because you are a hypochondriac.

But thinking, last year on July 3 when I was flying over to London for White Trash Tour 2004, I ended up making out with some cute Brit in the airplane and was then propositioned to join the mile high club. Which I turned down (biggest regret of my life btw). WHAT THE FUCK IS IT ABOUT FOURTH OF JULY WEEKEND AND ALMOST SEX?! Fucking A man.

So that has been my life in the last few weeks. Almost sex, an almost apartment, a new job and hanging and heading off to London in a few hours.


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