Friday, June 23, 2006

I suck

Yea, I know I have been neglecting posting and this week has just been insane. Although, I have to admit that it has been a great ego boost from you all asking me where the posting has gone.

You know, I actually am working on a very funny post, but I have been going out every night this week (Perrier the drink of choice--except for Tues, but that is another matter) and haven't had the time to editting that would take it from good to fucking fabulous--the post that you IM to your friends and say, "This shit is on fucking point!"

So, my Tuesday. I guess what my friends parents have been saying for years about me is true: I am the bad influence. Not in a let's get drugged out and fuck strangers in dark alleys bad but the fuck responsibility and let me enjoy getting fucked up. Which, you know what, at that moment it is always a great idea.

I have a theme with my friend's 25th bdays. If I am invited there is usually Dom Perignon involved and some older rich man taking care of us. And this bday was no different. Within, literally, fifteen seconds of telling my friend that we should find some rich men to finance our drinks and an excursion to the strip club, they literally fell into our table. Bottle of wine offered and accepted. Hired car for the evening. Going to Tens and stripping at the club (just went topless though) while pounding Grey Goose martinis. Fucked up a pole trick and bang up my leg. Back into the hired car to go to NY Dolls and hang out with the refugees from Eastern Europe. Consume Dom Perignon. Have hired car drop us off uptown. Eat a tuna melt bagel to absorb the alcohol and prevent a massive hangover--which it did.

Looking back onto the night, I have to comment, that night was pretty unbelieveable. Don't ask me how I manage to pull off finding the rich guys to blow money on me and my friends. It's actually something that I put a lot of thought into. I mean, I am not 5'10 and a leggy blond; I am not the standard girl that men want acting as a trophy on their arm. But somehow I end up pulling something off--having some of my hot friends in tow doesnt hurt either.

So, this is what has been on my mind lately. That question that you get when you look over at the person in the bed, laying next to you who is totally out of your league and you think to yourself, "Why did that person just fuck me?" Is it that I don't give myself enough credit in the looks department or can charisma and an attitude carry a pretty cute girl far enough? I would love to hear a guy's response to this.

Fuck, back to work.


At 4:14 PM, Blogger J.Green said...

Ok here is the venerable J.Green's response to this post:

1. For the record your blog is right now at the top of my blogroll, so get the "fucking on point" post up.

2. I often ponder the question you have just asked, but from a guy's point of view. With guys there's a couple levels- dudes who just get picked up cause they are that good looking. Dudes who are good looking anough (I include myself in this cat) but need to flex some personality/money/whatever works, and lastly there are dudes who are not good looking and need to literally "get lucky".

Most guys use a 10 point system to identify girls, with 1-6 being reserved for end of night table scraps or never. 7-8 being girlfriend material, and 9-10's rare but more or less untouchable. So if as a girl you are at least a 7, the bottom line is that at a minimum most guys see you as fuckable at the least. Given that ratings systems are subjective, and I am giving but one viewpoint, I don't think I'm being unreasonable.

Now to return to the question you asked, why do ruch dudes buy drinks for the 7's, the answer is complex.

The funny thing is that guys who have money generally have worked hard to earn that money, but still have no problem blowing mounds of cash on champagne and strippers, even though during the day they probably look to squeeze every last cent out of any business deal they make. So contextually they are making a business decision, even if it is a weak one. Since these likely decent looking, but not beautiful men, see their money as their best proverbial "hook" they use it to their alleged best advantage- spending lavishly. If indeed the goal is to get laid, wouldn't it seem like a better business decision to spend cash on 7's rahter then on 10's who are more likely to be jaded and less likely to sleep with the said men?

So by buying you drinks, they see themselves as hedging their bets with a (assumedly) better investment. The bottom line is that at a bar, these men have no idea that you are a charismatic girl, or even that you write well, they're working almost toally on looks.

Admittedly, in the long run you win with the charisma and attitude, but if we're strictly dealing with the bar scene you're likely thought of as no more then a prudent investment.

In any case you may or may not give yourself enough credit in the looks department, but that doesn't really matter as long as you are at least a 7 on the 10 point scale. And this is the reason that I do not like to pick up girls at bars, as a minimum "7" myself, but not a "10" there is no way to distinguish myself from other 7 8's and 9's at a bar other then buying tons of drinks. Sometimes it is ok, and admittedly if the night ended with some girl getting topless and dancing at a stripclub all would be more then justified, but essentially 7's with cash to blow fuck up the market, because bottom line is they're probably not gonna score but take away the best mid-range prospects from those guys who are probably much funnier and charismatic people but aren't buying magnums of Grey Goose.

Background on myself, I have been both the idiot blowing the cash and the hater on the side. As a poor Jewboy lawstudent I personally have little cash, but luckily my family has enough that I can be a gooner if I want. Regardless I think that having played both sides of the game, I'm pretty qualified to opine.

Did I answer the question? Holler.

At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Hoyt Pollard said...

Men rarely turn down a sure thing. Charisma and attitude have nothing to do with it.

At 11:23 PM, Blogger MyChinadollShandoll said...

I'd like to make a few comments. I would give our ShanDoll an 8. Not withstanding that, I'd like to mention also that she is FUCKING HOT! I mean hell she's my china doll. But back to the 8. Just because some one isn't a 10 doesn't mean they aren't incredible. You see the 1-10 theory does not properly give points for COOLNESS Shandoll is the coolest girl I know. That's why she gets the men throwing money at her. And she's got a great rack...Which doesn't hurt matters. ;-)

Me ;-)

At 3:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am enlightened by j. green's 1-10 scale. Always having been charismatic myself, I find his view on this sort of thing interesting. I guess I never thought that women were a "hedgable" item.
As for Shandoll, your having way too much fun... I wish I were there.


At 11:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

C'mon, you're about to head to Oxford, can you really be that naive?

Rich men are buying you champagne and providing car service because your behavior telegraphs "SLUT!"

They know a sure thing when they see one.


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